Who could have thought that putting a kid’s trauma on display for 15 years could have caused some damage?
Thursday night’s episode of Teen Mom: The Next Chapter celebrated the 16th birthday of Bentley– one of the original ‘Teen Mom’ kids– but it also highlighted how being on television since birth has, at times, negatively affected the kids who were born on MTV.
Leah Shirley— the daughter of original 16 and Pregnant and ‘Teen Mom’ couple Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley— opened up on-camera during the episode about how watching old clips of the show can be painful, particularly scenes that show how poorly Amber treated both Gary and baby Leah.
During the episode, Gary talks to Leah, who informs him that her friends are starting to realize that she’s on a TV show. (Apparently high schoolers aren’t among the dozens of people tuning into ‘Next Chapter’ each week?)
Leah said that her classmates have been showing her old ‘Teen Mom’ clips, which frequently get posted to TikTok. Leah tells her dad that it’s “weird” and sometimes “painful” to watch old clips of the show, which often show traumatic incidents that have been forever captured on tape.
“I see the older ones, from when I was like two, and it’s just weird to watch because it’s always, like, Amber screaming at you and you leave,” Leah says.
As longtime ‘Teen Mom’ fans are aware, Amber was filmed multiple times during the early seasons physically assaulting Gary, sometimes when baby Leah was in the room. (Amber actually ended up getting elevated charges because of that during one of her arrests for domestic violence against Gary.)
Leah also admitted that it’s hard for her to watch clips in which Amber neglected her as a baby.
“And then there’s one clip where [Amber] is like, ‘Why is Leah crying?’ when she is in a complete opposite room, just leaving me,” Leah added. “It’s just weird. I think those ones are kind of painful to watch because it’s little me.”
Leah went on to state that she believes she has “a lot of issues because of Amber and the experiences that I’ve had,” many of which were recorded for the show and accessible to anyone who wants to watch them over and over again.
As ‘Teen Mom’ fans know, Leah— who has lived with Gary and his wife Kristina since she was a toddler— is currently estranged from her mother (whom she now refers to “Amber.”) Last year, Amber was informed that Leah does not want a relationship with her, so the ‘Teen Mom’ star has frequently taken to TikTok Live to discuss her estrangement from Leah, and to accuse Gary of some very unsavory things.
Anyway, during Thursday’s episode Gary apologized to Leah for not getting her out of the toxic situation with Amber sooner.
“Honestly, Leah, no joke, I wish I had done more,” Gary said. “Like, I wish I had just took you and left instantly, and not left you there [with Amber].”
Leah accepted her dad’s apology, telling him it was OK, given that she didn’t actually remember everything that happened. However, having her (and her parents’) toxic past recorded and now regurgitated on social media has taken its toll on Leah.
“Watching those videos, that has got to be hard,” Gary told his daughter. “And you don’t remember it. I don’t know if that’s like a trauma thing…and your brain automatically shuts off the bad stuff.”
Leah agrees, telling Gary she’d like to enter therapy so she can “overcome” the trauma of her past.
“[I want to be able to] forgive [Amber] and just move on,” Leah said. “I think it would help to have someone guide me on how to forgive someone, because it’s hard for me to do that.”
During past episodes, Leah and Gary have discussed how Amber has been in and out of Leah’s life for years, something Amber has denied is true.
“I’m not really sure when I realized when she, like, wasn’t there,” Leah told the cameras during Thursday’s episode. “But I know I do have abandonment issues from her not being around. But I do know there’s a lot of things going on [in Amber’s life] that makes it difficult for her to be able to be there for me. And I feel like it does affect me every day, because I’m always scared that Kristina’s gonna leave me. I’m always scared that people are just gonna leave me for no reason.”
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