What sets the reboot of Real Housewives of New York City apart from many of the other Real Housewives series is how vulnerable the women allow themselves to be in their newly developed friendships. Sure, maybe Jenna Lyons is keeping her romantic life private, but she has been gradually opening up to the ladies, and each time she sheds a layer and allows herself to be authentic and in-the-moment, she reveals herself to be more and more iconic. Ubah Hassan is also keeping her romantic life off the series as her relationship with Oliver Dachsel was in its initial stages when filming Season 14 of the reality series, and this may have caused an irrevocable rift between her and her once friend, Brynn Whitfield.
The ladies being so willing to be vulnerable in these new friendships, has also opened them up to real moments of hurt, and the most recent episode showed just how much damage can be done by a moment of messiness in these newly developing relationships. All season, Ubah and co-star Sai De Silva have been on a campaign to target Brynn, wanting to expose her as a "snake" who betrays her friends. This is a direct result of last season's finale, where a seemingly tipsy Brynn referred to Ubah's secret boyfriend as "Mr. Connecticut" on camera. Brynn's playful poke at Ubah's desire to keep the relationship hidden while filming a reality series backfired spectacularly, and continues to be the source of the conflict in Season 15.
Ubah and Sai wanting Brynn to own up to her messiness has wreaked havoc in the group so far this season. The fact that Sai, Ubah, and Brynn are losing their cool on camera, even though each of them has a polished public persona that doesn't typically slip, shows just how deep the wounds go in these relationships. So far, Brynn has been masterful at fending off Sai and Ubah's efforts to blame her for the energy shift in the group. But Brynn's armor may be her weakness; in her efforts to defend herself at all costs, her digs can go too low at times, causing further hurt and distance between her and her co-stars. The level of hurt on both sides of the feud shows that real friendships are on the line, but if Brynn wants to avoid losing these relationships entirely, a change of tactic is required.
Brynn Admits She's In Fight or Flight This Season
After Ubah called Brynn a "snake" that "nobody sees coming," Sai and Ubah shifted tactics, employing the mean girl method of freezing someone out when you don't approve of their choices. This had an immediate effect of alienating Brynn from the group, and in a confessional, Brynn admitted that when she feels like she is being shut out, her instinct is to fully withdraw. This seems to be a defense mechanism, an effort to avoid further hurt by simply cutting off the relationship.
When Ubah resorted to cursing and shouting to try to get her point across in a later argument, Brynn took advantage of the moment, policing Ubah's language and immediately calling for a return to a more civilized tone. In a catty confessional, Brynn claimed that she was trying to save Ubah from coming across as "an angry Black woman," in an effort to save Ubah's relationship with Oliver by preventing her from coming across as this stereotype. This is where Brynn stands to lose big in Season 15, because she is so excellent at controlling the narrative in the moment that she risks deeply hurting people she once cared for.
Why The "Angry Black Woman" Dig Is Too Deep
Coming from a lighter-shaded bi-racial Black woman raised in the United States, directed to a Black woman who has a richer skin-tone, was raised in Somalia, immigrated to Canada before moving to America, and whose first language is not English, it is a very loaded statement and viewers quickly went online to express concern. Just as being white comes with a certain level of privilege in a society that was established by white people to advantage people who looked and spoke like them, being lighter-shaded and able to access a voice that blends seamlessly into the white register gives Brynn certain advantages in society, as it allows her some of the privileges afforded to whiteness. Brynn taking the opportunity to police Ubah's tone and diction is actually her accessing that privilege to control the narrative in the argument. And framing this as an effort to "save" Ubah's relationship with her boyfriend just seemed cruel.
Brynn and Ubah are fighting like sisters can and do, jabbing at the most sensitive spots because they know exactly what buttons will trigger the most hurt. It is a dangerous game to play when filming a reality TV series, as the Kardashian and Jenner sisters continue to find out in The Kardashians. Capturing these hurtful moments on camera, and having them live a second life as "entertainment" invites the world into the pain being caused, which can cause even deeper rifts in a relationship. Race and colorism are tricky subjects to navigate, and it seems reckless of Brynn to so carelessly use the stereotype of "the angry Black woman" against her friend and co-star. In the moment, it seemed like Brynn genuinely believed she was helping her friend. But, it was the shady and passive-aggressive kind of help that some sisters find appropriate, and others find distasteful.
Brynn and Ubah Continue to Clash on 'RHONY'
Ubah told Erin Lichey that she was now scared to open up in the group, seemingly blaming Brynn for twisting everything that gets said. Sai and Ubah have both accused Brynn of speaking over them at times, and they do have a point. Brynn has the habit that many direct people have of finishing other people's sentences in order to get to the point faster. But this is especially problematic when speaking with someone who is communicating in a second language - as Ubah pointed out in the most recent episode, it can derail the train of thought, and leave someone feeling unheard.
Brynn typically admits to her wrongdoing, and when she disagrees with the way someone has interpreted her actions, she usually brings out facts and witnesses to prove her side of the story. Whereas Ubah and Sai are still so hurt about Brynn's actions last season, they refuse to admit they are a part of the problem this time around. All three ladies need to put down their swords, before risking the complete loss of friendship in Season 15. Even though Brynn is excellent at putting on armor and proving her point, she might need to be courageous enough to be vulnerable with her one-time friends instead, if she doesn't want to end up losing big this season on RHONY.
New episodes of RHONY air Tuesdays on Bravo.
