'Golden Bachelor' Mel Owens said he would 'cut' anyone over 60. Here's what he gets wrong about midlife dating

When The Golden Bachelor premiered, many viewers hoped it would offer a refreshing take on love later in life. But when the most recent Golden Bachelor, Mel Owens, made some alarming comments last month (primarily about the contestants' ages and appearances) it was a stark reminder for women, especially in their 50s and 60s, of just how misogynistic and ageist the dating scene can be.

“[The producers] asked me, ‘What’s your preference?’ So I just said 45 to 60, just being honest,” Owens, 66, told host Jon Jansen on the "In the Trenches" podcast. “We had lunch with the executive producer. I said, ‘You know, if they’re 60 or over, I’m cutting them.’”

“Well, they got to be fit because I stay in shape, should work out and stuff," he continued. "And I told them, you know, try to stay away from the artificial hips and the wigs, you know, that kind of stuff, right?”

Psychotherapist Jason Fierstein says while it's important to remember that The Golden Bachelor is a TV show, Owens’s comments are “somewhat” reflective of broader cultural attitudes. “I do think that this kind of thinking correlates with male loneliness and depression, especially at [Owens’s] age,” he says. “I’ve seen several narcissistic men in this age range say the same things — that they’re looking for someone ‘hot’ and 20 years younger. They may very well get that kind of partner, especially if they have money to offer, but does that really provide real love and lasting connection?”

It’s a question the show flirts with, but even as audiences get swept up in the romance of lavish dinner dates and whirlwind courtships, Owens’s comments reveal something more troubling and something many women over 50 already know too well: being told they’re too old to be considered desirable.

With so much emphasis placed on youth, fitness and sexual appeal, it’s no wonder that dating can feel discouraging for older women.

Why are men skeptical to date women over 60 — or 50, or 45?

“Men are afraid of aging and death,” he says. “I think the whole idea of women having an ‘expiration date’ — like they’re cartons of milk — is another form of objectification. It’s a way for men to avoid taking responsibility for their own aging process. Getting older means losing control, and that terrifies a lot of men, especially those who have spent their lives chasing power and status.”

From an evolutionary standpoint, Fierstein adds, older men often view relationships with younger women as a way to preserve virility and a sense of relevance.

“It becomes a psychological buffer against aging,” he says. “If younger women want to be with you, it makes you feel desirable, powerful and even immortal, in a way. It’s also about legacy and permanence.”

Where does that leave aging women looking for love and companionship? According to Bela Gandhi — relationship expert at DateMyAge, founder of Smart Dating Academy and host of the Smart Dating Academy podcast — we shouldn’t accept the belief that we’re “too old” to be desired. Instead, we should eliminate it.