Former Bachelor star Madi Prewett spoke candidly about a “hard” topic in her life: porn and masturbation.
“The main thing we’re going to be covering is sexual sin focused on porn and masturbation,” Madi, 29, said during the Monday, June 23, episode of her “Stay True” podcast. “We’re going to tie in why purity matters to God, why holiness matters to God, why that’s a call for the children of God.”
Madi admitted that “this has been a struggle” for her since middle school.
“Thankfully, by the grace of God and by the power of Godly community and people around me, I have been free from porn and masturbation for — I don’t even know — 10 years,” she continued. “But that was something that enslaved me and marked me for so long.”
Madi continued, “No matter how much I loved Jesus, I could not shake that sin. I could not break free from porn and masturbation.”
The Bachelor Nation alum explained that she started watching shows and listening to music that referenced “having sex and hooking up” during her middle school years.
“I had already had moments of being curious about things and having certain feelings or wondering certain things or fantasizing about certain things. I had not told that to anyone,” she recalled. “I had not pursued to do anything about that, but I was curious, and I was about 13 years old. I went over to a friend’s house and her parents weren’t around and she turned on this show that was extremely inappropriate.”
Madi stated that she “started feeling things that I had never felt before” and experiencing “desire.” From there, she started looking up things on YouTube, which led to masturbation. Madi recalled feeling embarrassed, mainly because she felt like she couldn’t tell anyone about her struggles.
“Anytime you live in secret, it’s only going to create more sin and it’s only going to create more shame because that’s where the enemy thrives,” she continued. “I was not able to break free until I brought other people into it, until I stopped letting the enemy run my life with living in secrecy and living in isolation.”
Madi explained to listeners that dealing with these feelings were “so hard for me for so long” — but she was able to overcome it.
“I would beat myself up and I would be bound by shame because I knew I loved Jesus and I wanted to live a life for Jesus, but I didn’t know how to get unstuck. I didn’t know how to break free from that sin,” she added, elsewhere noting that giving in to sexual sin made her feel “robbed of confidence.”
“I questioned my worth and my identity,” she declared. “Every time I gave into sexual sin, I didn’t know my purpose.”
