RHOC’s Emily Simpson Reveals Son Luke, 10, Was Diagnosed with Eating Disorder

Parenthood has been a challenge lately for Emily Simpson, whose son was recently diagnosed with an eating disorder.

The Real Housewives of Orange County star tells PEOPLE exclusively that she'd always assumed her son Luke, 10, was just a picky eater, like many young kids. But when it got to the point that he was refusing to eat anything, she decided to take him to a therapist.

Soon after, Luke was diagnosed with ARFID, a mental health disorder in which someone avoids or restricts food intake.

Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) can cause someone to lose interest in eating, avoid foods that have an unwanted color, texture, taste or smell, and feel fear or anxiety about food or the consequences of eating, like choking or vomiting, according to the Cleveland Clinic. Unlike anorexia, bulimia, or other forms of disordered eating, ARFID isn’t “caused by a negative self-image or a desire to change your body weight."

Simpson, 49, shares more details: “He only eats a few different foods and he's very overwhelmed by texture, color, smells. He will only eat white rice. And he has to inspect each piece of rice before he eats it. So it's beyond picky eating. A lot of control issues. It's very overwhelming.”

“There were so many times when he would say he was starving… because he was starving. But he would refuse to eat. And as a mom, that was so frustrating. I didn't know what to do because on one hand he's crying and telling me he's starving, and on the other hand, he refuses to eat anything that I offer,” she explains. “Every day is challenging.” 

The reality star says fans will see her face Luke's diagnosis in real time, since it happened while she was filming season 19 of RHOC. 

“There were lots of times I didn’t even know if I could continue to film,” she says. “[Husband] Shane and I are learning every day how to navigate it.”

During production, Simpson says she was very overwhelmed and lost in Luke’s diagnosis, even feeling at odds with Shane over how to approach it.

The couple eventually started therapy, which has helped them learn how to adjust and parent Luke differently than their other four children: son Keller, 10, daughter Annabelle, 12, and Shane’s daughters from his first marriage — Chanel, 19, and Shelby, 24.

Treatment for ARFID typically involves cognitive behavioral therapy to help someone lessen fear or anxiety around food and become more comfortable with sensory challenges. In some cases, providers may prescribe medications to stimulate the patient’s appetite or even provide a temporary feeding tube to ensure proper nutrition.

Luke is currently in therapy and working with a nutritionist. Simpson says. These days he’s comfortable eating rice, french fries, sliced bananas, potato chips, ice cream and plain turkey that “doesn't have any lines or blemishes in it.”

She admits it's not easy to add new foods to his diet but she doesn't want to make him feel bad.

"I try to put myself in his shoes and in his head, and for him, everything is different than the way we see it. Smells are extremely overwhelming for him. Color is overwhelming for him. Textures of food are overwhelming and make him gag. So I have to constantly remind myself that he doesn't operate neurologically like we do.”

Additionally, Luke now wears nose inserts with essential oils on them to mask the smells of overwhelming foods.

While Simpson says Luke is "a lot better now,” she worries about what will happen when he returns to school and she starts filming again, and they’re not together all the time.

She also expresses concern that other kids and parents at his school will say something about his diagnosis after watching the latest season of the Bravo show. But she's trying to stay positive about being transparent.

“There were so many times I thought, am I doing the right thing by being so honest about what we're going through? And all I can hope at the end is that it helps other parents,” she shares.

“I think it's such a great platform to have sometimes because I feel so lost, and there's people out there that have gone through it and have kids that are probably exactly like Luke, and they’ll reach out to me and I look forward to that because I learn so much from our audience.”

And although navigating Luke’s ARFID is a learning experience, Simpson admits that she often reflects on what she could have done differently, while still trying to give herself grace.

“There were red flags with Luke that I ignored, and I really kind of beat myself up over that. I feel like maybe there could've been an earlier intervention,” she says, offering a piece of advice to other parents. “I would say anytime you notice anything or something feels off — because moms, we have this intuition — I think you should just reach out, ask other parents, take him to a doctor, take him to a therapist. The more help you can get and the more answers you can get, the better you'll navigate parenthood.” 

“I think that's my one regret is that I didn't explore earlier,” she says. “I do lay my head down every night and question every single thing I did and said, but I know at the end of the day that Shane and I just have his best interests of him and all of our children as our number one priority, so we're just trying to do the best we can.”