Sһаnnon Beаdor Weіgһs RHOC Return After 'Dіffісult' Seаson: I 'Seраrаte Myself from Toxіс Sіtuаtіons' (Exсlusіve)

"[It] depends on who I would be on the season with. And I'm not saying that in a threatening way. I experienced some time with people that were very unhealthy for me to be around," Beador tells PEOPLE

Shannon Storms Beador is unsure if she will be returning to The Real Housewives of Orange County for another season.

As season 18 comes to an end on Oct. 31, Beador tells PEOPLE that she is now in a better place than when cameras first picked up.

Shortly before filming began, Beador had broken up with ex boyfriend John Janssen and gotten arrested for DUI. Looking back on having to film amid those troubling moments in her life, Beador says, "It was very difficult to go through."

The newest "friend" this season was Alexis Bellino, who was on RHOC from seasons 5 through 8 nearly 15 years ago. She returned for season 18 with a new boyfriend — who happens to be Shannon’s ex John. 

Shannon Beador (left), Alexis Bellino (right). Charles Sykes/Bravo/Getty; Amanda Edwards/Getty

Throughout the season the two had tension after John sued Shannon for $75,000 that he alleged was a loan, although she denied the money was borrowed. After refusing to see Alexis face-to-face and a failed attempt to settle the lawsuit after John refused to sign a non-disparagement agreement, Shannon said she has conflicted feelings about returning to the franchise.

“[It] depends on who I would be on the season with,” she confesses. “And I'm not saying that in a threatening way. I experienced some time with people that were very unhealthy for me to be around.”

“That's important in my life right now, to make healthy choices and to separate myself from toxic situations,” she continues.

Although the season was off to a tough start for Shannon, she says she hopes people can see the progress she has made over the past year in being able to set healthy boundaries and manage her reactions.

“I really was a hot mess at the end of last season,” she explains. “I was at that reunion just totally focused on, you got to clear John's name, you got to clear John's name. And you can see it — I look exhausted. I'm puffy. I wasn't good. So I'm happy. I hope that people will see that I am taking life seriously and I'm doing whatever I can in my power to better my life to become a better person.”

Still, she acknowledges that isn’t always how the viewers look at her on the show. She admits she understands enjoying the drama, because “if I were on the other side, I’d want to see it myself.”

“But really what matters is what I think. I hope they enjoy the show ... I hope that people say, ‘Okay, she's working on herself, so good for her,’ but I don't need pats on the back," she says. "I don't need sympathy.”

She adds: “I got it, and I feel strong about that.”

The Real Housewives of Orange County's season 18 three-part reunion begins Thursday, Nov. 7 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on Bravo.