A pall of sadness, despair and frustration has overwhelmed the citizens of Rangerville.
They hate the fact that Chris Drury remains the mayor and that Mike (The Loser) Sullivan is likely to be the new savior coach.
Another – and very huge – major annoyance is Mika Zibanejad.
I know this for a fact because my best barometer when it comes to Rangerville thinking comes via Sean McCaffrey, publisher of the ultra-candid Blue Collar Blue Shirts.
If Brother Sean has told it to me once, he's told it to me a thousand times: "No matter who's the new coach, the club is doomed as long as Mika is here."
Fair enough; so the trick is how to get The Z Man out of the Blue Shirt. There must be a way and the only savvy guy I know who can figure it out is Jess (The Figure Filbert) Rubenstein.
In this Mika case the key element happens to be the NHL/NHL CBA which Jess has carefully deciphered. Here's the deal about trying to boot Mika the heck out of New York. The odds are very much against it happening.
For starters, Z can't be moved unless he agrees to be moved and Mika says he's staying. Period!
"He has five years remaining on his contract," Jess explains, "with a no movement clause that's in effect until right before the 2029 Entry Draft where it becomes a modified no-trade clause."
Mika won't agree to waive his no movement clause which means that Drury can only buy out his contract.
Rubenstein: "Here's where it gets ugly, starting with the five years remaining on the deal. At Mika's age, the Rangers can buy him out at two-thirds of his base salary."
It gets even more complicated so – to make it easier for the reader – Jess concludes that Z's actual Cap hit is $7,833 ,333.
"That $7,833,333 is carried on the books every single year for the rest of the length of his contract which is five years," Rubenstein asserts. "The more research I do, the more I conclude that Drury can only move Chris Kreider."
MAVEN'S CONCLUSION: Repeat after me: OY VAY!
