Tush Push SURVIVES: Eagles Win NFL Vote After Jeffrey Lurie’s Wild 'Wet Dream' Speech!

The Philadelphia Eagles got their first win of the 2025 NFL season a few months early, as the league’s owners failed to pass a measure that would ban the team’s iconic tush push.

The vote on Wednesday was close, and momentum heading into the week had felt like the ban was on pace to pass. But apparently the Eagles made a strong case for themselves, with owner Jeffrey Lurie and former center Jason Kelce both speaking in defense of the play, and were able to whip the necessary votes to prevent the ban from becoming law. The measure needed 24 votes to pass, but received 22.

According to a report from ESPN’s Seth Wickersham, Lurie spoke passionately for almost an hour before the vote, and at one point, employed a simile that you definitely won’t see coming.

Per Wickersham:

Toward the end of a speech that lasted close to an hour, Lurie made an analogy, telling the room that regardless of whether the play was banned, it was a "win-win" for the Eagles, adding that it was "like a wet dream for a teenage boy" to create a play that was so successful that the only way for it to be stopped was for it to be banned.

After Lurie finished speaking, executive vice president of football operations Troy Vincent chastised the Eagles owner for the "wet dream" comment, specifically for saying it in front of women in the meeting.

The idea of the ban being a win-win for the Eagles is easy enough to get behind. Eagles fans (disclosure: also me) are already plenty boastful as it is—if the NFL were forced to change the rulebook simply because the Birds were too good at a play, Eagles fans would never let anyone forget it.

But while the sentiment is clear, the simile, well, I don’t know man. Poetic language ideally evokes an image that better explains the truth than the truth can do on its own, and while Lurie’s choice of words was definitely, uh, evocative, it doesn’t really go far toward better illustrating the idea he was trying to express. Maybe we are missing a bit of context that better frames the simile, but part of me greatly hopes that is not the case.

Word choice aside, the Eagles are reigning Super Bowl champions, and their signature play has survived for at least another year. Feels like that’s plenty to dream about.