Tonight is the night when the Summer Olympic Games are set to open up in Paris, France. The festivities which will be held on the River Seine are set to be the first of its kind. The Olympic motto “Citius, Altius, Fortius — Communiter,” which means “Faster, Higher, Stronger — Together,” is perfect for the spirit of the games. But perhaps the most critical aspect of the entire night is the performances. While Paris may have Celine Dion and Lady Gaga performing an iconic French song, I wondered which of our Real Housewives stars could be chosen for the same honor.
Erika Jayne
Erika Jayne is all about the glitz, glamour, and the fun. With the Las Vegas residency, Bet it on Blonde, under her belt, the singer could easily take on Paris. She has already dressed to impress and has worn some iconic fashion houses. Just like any Olympic athlete, Erika has always been a bold personality. She is never afraid to go after what she wants. Erika learned early on that she would have to bounce back from disappointment and become extremely resilient. If she were to open up the Summer Games, I could imagine we would hear Xxpen$ive and How Many F*cks. The latter might even be attributed to Team Canada after admitting they flew a drone over opposing teams!
Luann de Lesseps
In a nod to the 2024 Paris Summer Games, Luann de Lesseps would have to sing Chic, C’est La Vie. Far from actually being chic, the lyrics could be quite uplifting. The countess sings, “The little things can take you down, so it’s best to brush them off. Confident and cool. You know you hold the key.” The melodic vibe and rhythm patterns would easily get stuck in any audience’s head. Soon, the entire Seine would be singing chic, c’est la vie, and when translated means cool, that’s life. So good. So good.
Sonja Morgan
Paris is the home of the Moulin Rouge. It is located southwest of Montmartre, in the Paris district of Pigalle, on Boulevard de Clichy, and has a landmark red windmill on its roof. The Moulin Rouge is best known as the birthplace of the modern form of the can-can dance. So why not have Sonja Morgan introduce her interpretation of burlesque to the City of Lights? The opening ceremonies have never just been about singing but also about the arts. Each host country likes to share what has made its history so special. So Sonja could fit right into a life-size martini glass. All the community would have to do is throw her a feather boa and nipple tassels.
Kim Zolciak
No one will want to be Tardy for the Party when this banger comes on the loudspeaker throughout the stadium. Kim Zolciak is a lot of things, but she always knew how to ramp up a crowd to have a good time. The one-hit wonder song was a great party anthem. With lines like “We’ll party all night and not go to sleep” and “I look good in this scene with sweat dripping all over me.” Surely, Kim was referring to the monumental strain the athletes put on themselves daily to work out and win gold. As Kim sang herself, “Let’s celebrate” all these competitors have achieved.
Melissa Gorga
But perhaps the greatest anthem of them all would be Melissa Gorga’s On Display. The Real Housewives of New Jersey star would have come a long way from singing in her privately built basement recording studio to the Olympic Summer Games. Picture it: Paris, July 2024. Melissa stands on one of the Olympic floats, mouthing her famed lyrics. The sun sets on the Eiffel Tower, and the famed structure lights up at that perfect moment with twinkle lights. Audiences everywhere hear, “I can feel the weight of the world pushing down on me. I can feel everyone’s eyes watching me. I can feel the heat of the spotlight shine on me.” And that is how you open the 2024 Olympics.
