The great George Carlin and also Jerry Seinfeld made a living off of jokes about word usage.
They'd have had a field day with some of the terms now on the internet.
To wit, Carlin's "Hippie Dippie weatherman" serving as a sportscaster and announcing "...a partial score from the West Coast: Notre Dame 6."
Seinfeld's entire series was based on terms like double-dipping, regifting, close talker and shrinkage (yikes!).
At this time of year in the football media business, website writers annually come out with their "bold predictions."
The term is pretty hilarious because no one makes passive predictions. What about quiet or soft predictions? Nope. Not worth it.
With rookies reporting to Halas Hall for training camp only two weeks from Tuesday, it's time to offer up the bold predictions on this Bears season.
They are not passive, soft or quiet ones. Nor are they partial predictions from the West Coast.
1. Caleb Williams Panic
There will be great gnashing of teeth when Williams does not throw a touchdown pass in the opener against Tennessee. Then everyone will remember C.J. Stroud and Joe Burrow had no TD passes after one game, either. And they will have to be reminded how Mitchell Trubisky started three-quarters of a season and Justin Fields 10 games and they had only seven TD passes total as rookies, and that Peyton Manning threw 26 TD passes and somehow threw 28 interceptions as a rookie. Disappointment and elation are featured prominently on the thrill ride known as the average rookie quarterback season.
2. Williams Shatters Bears Record
He'll destroy the Bears rookie records for TD passes. He'd only need 12 to break it, though. Look for twice that many from him because he is every bit the passer they said. Also, he's going to be armed with the best weapons. And he's going to have to pass when their running game is no longer the dominant factor it has been the last two years.
3. Matt Eberflus Job Concerns
At some point early, when the Bears are off to only a so-so start, the defense will blow another lead late and there will be fans with pitch forks and torches coming to Halas Hall's gates. They blew three games last year that might have helped them get in the playoffs. Eberflus' Indianapolis defenses had one fatal flaw and that was an inability to protect leads. It's always the flaw with a defense using a predictable zone scheme late in games. Prevent defenses prevent victory.
4. Veterans Left Behind
Not immediately, but well into the season, Rome Odunze will emerge as the biggest threat in the Bears passing game ahead of DJ Moore and Keenan Allen. He's physically capable of it now, and with just a little experience within the NFL flow he'll emerge by making big catches at critical times. Allen's age will begin to show. Receivers past 31 start to drop noticeably in production. Moore will no longer have every ball targeted his way, the way Justin Fields did it last year because he couldn't get through his receiver progression. With fewer targets, Moore's total will dip a bit.
5. The Safety Dance
The Bears defense will lead the NFL in safeties as rookie punter Tory Taylor not only leads the NFL in putting balls down inside the 20 but inside the 10 and 5. He's also going to figure out some things about the Soldier Field wind that makes it even tougher on return men to field his punts.
6. Offensive Reversal
The Bears have been first and second in rushing the last two years and passed the fewest times of any NFL team.
The situation will reverse now because they have an offensive line not accustomed to blocking in a more conventional offense's running game. They don't have Fields picking up huge chunks of yards on the ground and must rely on the sticks moving through handoffs. The offensive line last year had so little responsibility for many of Justin Fields' runs that now they'll be forced to block for normal running plays and won't be able to pull it off. The end result will be a pass-happy Bears offense, constantly trying to maintain possession with the throw and often failing at it. Instead of ball control, they'll drop from third in time of possession like last year to third from the worst.
Think not? Check out where offensive coordinator Shane Waldron's teams ranked in NFL possession time at Seattle: 2021 last (32nd), 2022 next to last (31st), 2023 last (32nd).
7. Roschon Johnson's Rise
The second-year Texas Longhorn will eventually be their starter this season.
He only needs the chance. The power style he supplies better wears down defenses at the end of games. It's nice to have the speed back pop a few here and there. NFL games all come down to the end, it seems, and Johnson's ability to wear down defenses can be a quiet finish for Bears opponents.
8. Early Defensive Trouble
"Defense wins championships, and obviously we have a rookie quarterback this year, but the pressure's always on us," safety Jaquan Brisker said of the defense.
The Bears repeatedly referred to themselves as a top-five defense during the offseason and they weren't last year. They said they will need to get off to a fast start because they will need to support their rookie passer.
But they're relying too much on untested Gervon Dexter to help stop the run, and he struggled there last year. When they didn't stop the run, the defense had real trouble. The Green Bay finale was an example of this. The play-action opens up because of run defensive failures and it's devatating. The Lions and Packers both will be able to run on them until they get the 3-technique situation solidified. And the Vikings might, too, with Aaron Jones in the backfield.
9. Healthy Teven Jenkins
Expect contract problems regarding Teven Jenkins. He's overdue for a long stretch of good health, and will finally get it. He's already obviously their best offensive lineman and when he's also healthy he'll be headed for the Pro Bowl or whatever they call it these days. He said the Bears haven't been serious about extending him past 2024 yet. When he has proven himself, maybe it will be the Bears who get to squirm a little. After all, those rumors constantly were floating about trading Jenkins the past year and they came from somewhere. Jenkins isn't a Ryan Poles offensive lineman. Ryan Pace drafted him. Poles better adopt him now.
10. Intact Coaching Staff
Admit it, you saw the headline and thought this meant Matt Eberflus would get extended. Nope. It just means the Bears will have all their coaches complete the season without someone being the subject of an HR investigation or FBI or anything else, and they'll not be fired or resign.
