This is So Chic, Very Chic, PAPER’s examination of Bravo’s sprawling cohort of fashion obsessives. From haute couture to TJ Maxx, they’ve literally worn it all. Sometimes they stunt, sometimes they turn the look, and sometimes they burn holes in retinas my ophthalmologist says might never heal.
I must announce some very big news: Bridal gowns and rhinestones are very in at Bravo reunions. In the words of The Devil Wears Prada anti-hero Miranda Priestly: "Groundbreaking."
Sarcasm doesn’t read on the internet as well as I’d like, so let’s make it clear there’s nothing groundbreaking about rhinestones on the Bravo reunion stage. What is noteworthy, however, are the addition of actual bridal gowns to the rotation. We’ve always seen pageant gowns and Dubai ateliers make big showings amongst the women, but of late, I’ve seen more and more proper wedding dresses get passed off as reunion outfits. It's not a bad thing, but is there some connection between frivolously worn wedding dresses and the dozens of fractured marriages on these shows? I’m only just superstitious enough to think there might be.
If anything, the proliferation of wedding dresses makes me feel we are approaching an event horizon where white is no longer associated with bridalwear, or there is some mass convergence of pageantry, bridal and couture. I use couture loosely here, as most of what’s described as couture on these shows is made by upstart designers who’ve slapped couture onto the side of their small town boutiques.
The most egregious display of this rhinestoned bridal wear event horizon happened at the upcoming Married to Medicine reunion. Since we haven’t talked about this show in some time, I’ve curated select looks from the past few weeks alongside their reunion looks.
Shall we?
Married to Medicine
Quad Webb
Here is a lady who will put on some clothes. Thank god! And more often than not, the clothes fit her beautifully. Amongst a cast like this, I cannot understate what a rarity that is. This leather-look latex dress is something else. While not particularly novel, the effect against the jewelry and hair is perfection. I’m especially keen on this necklace, even if I wish the neckline of the dress came down a few more inches. It squishes her proportions down, but really, I’m nitpicking. Fabulous job, Quad!
Her reunion dress was less successful, but I applaud the theatricality, even if it circles back around to slightly tacky. The Kosovo based designer, Pajtim Raci, has designed for Bebe Rexha and Tyra Banks and Blac Chyna, which is quite the ensemble. When not posting bridal looks on Instagram, they mix it up with things a vampire in a gothic sci-fi cable TV show might wear, or what Lauren Sanchez will show up in to Jeff Bezos’ eventual coronation as the global dictator supreme.
My primary beef here is with the sculptural details, which aren’t quite ugly but totally contrast with the otherwise plain looking lamé fabric. It’s like something you’d see in a department store window for an Art Basel activation in partnership with the latest healthy popcorn startup brand.
Dr. Jackie
This look isn’t particularly special, but I did want to point out her leather jumpsuit and platform mules. Imagine your OBGYN comes rocking up with her pearls on and a leather jumpsuit with five inch patent leather platform mules on. I guess I’d have to trust her with my life and copay in perpetuity.
Her reunion look is notable for the designer behind it, Harbison Studios, ran by “demi-couturier” Charles Harbison. His client list includes Mindy Kaling, Kelly Rowland and Queen Latifah, and starlets like Sabrina Carpenter and Victoria Monet have also popped up in his designs of late. Let me not forget Quinta Brunson either, who wore a fabulous technicolor gown in New Yorker’s Style Issue last year. Harbison’s work is exquisite and his tailoring impeccable. He’s also got a real eye for color, which is why I was dismayed to see her go cream for the reunion. It never reads the right way!
Likewise, this dress fails to excite because it's a plain column gown with a cape and exposed bra. An impeccably fitted column gown, certainly, but when a dress like this is neutral, let alone a cream like this, it runs the risk of fading into the background. Sadly, not even the massive cape-shawl could fix it squarely in my mind.
Toya Bush-Harris
If there’s one thing Toya was put on this Earth to do, it was put on little scoochie dresses and show off her red bottoms. She’s lived up to that task this season! I’ve taken big issue with her wanton use of designer clothing in the past, specifically when she’s slapping on labels and throwing her new Birkin on top. Thankfully, there’s nary a label in sight, and I generally think this color is gorgeous on her. Sure, it’s giving a bit 2000-and-late, but my god, is it a gorgeous color on her.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, blame Sophie Couture for what you see above, which is so obnoxiously on-the-nose I burst out laughing. That Paris Hilton pops up in this same designer’s clothing frequently should tell one everything they need to know about the brand, which specializes in maximalist Dubai attire. When not doing interesting imitations of Schiaparelli’s weaker looks, they’re dressing celebrities in things just like this.
Now, the detail I’ve become increasingly befuddled by are the feathers sewn into the lace. It’s a design detail I don’t think I’ve ever seen before in my entire life, and certainly not on Bravo. It’s like the ateliers thought: “What if we used feathers like pearls?” I’d like them to have less ideas like that in the future.
It’s funny that I almost found this look a relief after that reunion something-or-other, considering the mixed metals and questionably deployed stilettos. As I said previously, Toya loves to show off her designer possessions. Zoom in on her bracelets, and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
For our last look of Toya’s this season, I’d like to present this hat. I won’t be commenting further.
Dr. Heavenly
One of the first results when I searched Albina Dyla, the designer for Dr. Heavenly’s dress, was something that looked suspiciously similar to Quad’s architectural marvel. It’s what I mean when I say “Dubai-wear.” No shade to the city, which faces more pressing criticisms than its fashion, but there’s this weird amalgam of Daniel Roseberry, Pierpaolo Piccoli and Olivier Rousteing that comes out of its ateliers these days. I’m not a fan, even when it’s as simple as this rhinestone and illusion lace mermaid gown. Apologies, Heavenly!
Sweet Tea
Considering everything going on in her marriage, and the deep sympathy I have for her as a result, I’ve decided to show everyone this sequin button up and glam combo without commenting further.
Her reunion look will get the same treatment from me, sans one small note: Please don’t ever show up on TV in toothpaste blue. Please.
Dr. Contessa
When this look popped up in the final episodes of the season, I literally said, “Oh, wow.” Nobody was in my home but my cat, so I followed her around for a few minutes just saying it over and over again in the hopes she would develop human speech and have a conversation with me about it. What a look! What a choice, to wear pageant jewelry and this dress. What a series of choices! So many choices, and they were all made by Dr. Contessa. Wow! Choices.
The most predictable of these choices was her reunion dress. In my effort to be comprehensive, I’ve included it here. In the interest of time and my own sanity, I’ll simply say, "Great gowns, beautiful gowns."
Dr. Mimi
I had to read episode descriptions on Wikipedia to remember who Dr. Mimi was, let alone what she was up to all season long. I believe she was on vacation with the group, but that’s as far as I got before I gave up and stopped caring. That said, this dress sure is something! We’ve got more sculptural details and a train, but the most confounding part is the illusion effect on the skirt with these thin tendrils of color. It gives her a wonky look, like she’s a woman in a Final Fantasy game who’s been frozen in a crystal that’s floating over an underground lake.
Phaedra Parks
Phaedra didn’t show up to the reunion and wasn’t much of a player this season — too busy vying for her spot on The Real Housewives of Atlanta back, I suppose. In honor of her time on this show having come to an end, I figured I’d display her tackiest outfit this season. If Toya is label obsessed, Phaedra is straight up label delusional. Au revoir!
Photos courtesy of Bravo/NBCUniversal
