Do The Rangers Need A Shrink, A Cheerleader Or Sean Avery?

Fixing the Rangers body will be accomplished via trades, buyouts and free agency. Chris Drury – I'm convinced – already is fielding offers for the very disappointing K'Andre Miller.

But, for a moment at least, let's forget about the body and worry about the head.

Based on the events of 2024-25 – starting with the dumping of the much-admired Barclay Goodrow – the Rangers have become the head case of hockey.

And you know as well as The Maven, when the head isn't screwed on right, something must be done. (Try finding a head-case screwdriver; there aren't any.)

Why do I bring this up when we should be talking about Edmonton-Florida? (Because the Rangers are just as important, silly. Sometimes more important.)

This all goes back to what recently-resigned MSG Networks analyst Joe Micheletti explained after his "Good-Bye to Herald Square."

Asked by a couple of Canadian interviewers, what ails the Rangers, Jovial Joe Cha-Cha-Cha-ed past Mika (Himself) Zibanejad, Alexis (Call Me Big Al) Lafreniere and Ilya (Break The Bank)) Shesterkin.

It's more than defense, Micheletti insisted,  more than mere strategy: "IT'S THE SPIRIT!"

Meaning, team spirit disappeared somewhere between Thanksgiving and the Chinese New Year. That left the Rangers with  the Square Root Of No Playoffs.

Fixing an amorphous thing like "spirii" usually requires professional help; something along the lines of a psychiatrist , psychologist, or either Dr. Kronkite or Dr. Neff And His Madhouse of Mysteries. (Oh, Shrink, you're wanted on the phone!)

"Other NHL teams have such specialists," says The Old Scout, "and if the Rangers had one this past season it sure didn't work."

Then again, the Rangers may not be a case for shrinks. Then what?

In a more simplistic way, "spirit" can be generated by human beings – otherwise known as cheerleaders; otherwise known as leaders.

In hockey, they have another name for it – captain.

Once upon a time the Rangers had a leader; disguised as a captain. His name was Jacob Trouba whose name later was changed by management into Mud! 

You had to figure that one of  20 roster guys could have assumed the captaincy. Matter of fact The Maven can tell how easy it would have been.

Get a pair of scissors – or a tweezer – and remove the "A' – as in Allergic to hits – from Adam Fox's sweater and put a "C" there instead.

Once Trouba had gone West, Foxy could have been the cheerleader infusing his mates with the "spirit" that Joe Micheltti was talking about.

If Adam declined there always was the ever-popular Vinnie (The Vinner) Trocheck or the mildly-adored J.T. (Crossing) Miller.

Instead, there was no shrink-that-worked, no captain and no playoffs. Ergo: NO SPIRIT!

Nada!

As for next season – since Taylor Swift is too busy being famed over football – and Don Cherry prefers Canada, I have just the guy to infuse spirit into this moribund group – SEAN AVERY.

Get this man of action off his Hollywood movie sets and back to Gotham. The Maven already has a title for Sir Sean: SPIRITUAL ADVISOR!