As one of the “Real Housewives of New York City” has a breakthrough with her mom, the rest break down in fear of creating true entertainment. Just when there was actual promise!
It brings me no pleasure to report that The Real Housewives of New York City Scientologist vs. serial-liar feud did not, in fact, save the season. Instead, welcome to another week of RHONY where the women passively bumble around, unable to deliver either as friends or foes. Christmas came early!
On the heels of Rebecca Minkoff vs. Brynn Whitfield, which kicked into high-gear last week, RHONY looked to have some true momentum. But a promising cliffhanger simply leads into two minutes of passive provocation, where both Rebecca and Brynn decide ultimately against giving this conflict their all, instead laying their swords down. Even Jenna Lyons is let down by the argument—and that’s never a good sign.
Sure, Rebecca grew a bit of a backbone, but it turns out Brynn’s all bark and no bite. The conversation turns to Jenna’s pubes, with each lady getting a turn in the confessional chair to discuss the hot topic, for some reason.
Having hope was fun. This is what I get for looking on the bright side.
Not every Housewife is going to be a drama magnet, but my God. If RHONY were a baseball game, it would be a no-hitter. Week after week, these ladies swing and miss.
That might be with the exception of newbie Racquel, whose group input is nothing to squawk about, but who single handedly might be carrying the solo storyline torch. Racquel would probably be a decent Housewife on a better show. It’s not really her fault that things have skidded to a halt.
Really, she could be a decent Carole Radziwill-type, a Greek chorus normie who slowly gets sucked into the facade of Housewives. It’s certainly curious why production cast her when this cast needed less calm, rational women and someone of the delusional mindset, but that doesn’t make her any less charming.
After a season spent discussing her strained relationship with her mother, Racquel gets to reunite with her. Big props to her for doing that on camera, especially on a cast where half the women won’t even film with their romantic partners.
If RHONY refuses to be dramatic, at least Racquel’s bringing some emotional gravitas. The reunion is heartfelt and a nice example of showing not telling, something this show often struggles to do. I imagine most viewers can relate to having a fraught relationship with a family member with questionable political (and personal) views. It’s a fitting plot to air right before Christmas, as we all prepare to see our conspiratorial uncles and crunchy cousins. Godspeed.
Perhaps the most real aspect is how milquetoast it all is. Racquel and her mother don’t hash out their issues, nor do they have a major kumbaya. The two simply enjoy each other’s company as a first step to a true reconciliation. It’s nice, and it doesn’t need to be anything more than that.
With that, the ladies move on to moseying around San Juan. Half the group go on a content creation photo crawl, while Erin, Jenna, and Brynn go for some drinks and shopping. Here, Erin does her best impression of a chill, laid-back “girl’s girl” and shows her friends a photo of her husband’s penis. Apparently it’s big! We’re learning so much about things no one cares to know.
This is the Super Bowl for sexy baby Brynn, who’s never been more ready to drop a saucy, sexless confessional. She then delivers the news eagerly to the rest of the cast at dinner, who react with varying levels of horror.
Not to get all sanctimonious, but I will say, it’s probably better to not show nude photos of your partner without their consent. That does seem like some common sense.
“Let’s not make this a whole thing,” Erin says, worried something interesting might happen.
“I’m a girl’s girl! We do this stuff,” she follows up in a confessional, which got the single biggest laugh out of me all season. That laugh was just a big smile, but hey, we take our wins where we get them.
Erin follows this with the thought that “it made them mad that he had a big d---.” See, this woman may be unlikeable, weird, and often annoying, but Erin truly does possess the ego of a solid Housewife. She, too, deserves a better show, one where she can live out her Jill Zarin dreams. She certainly deserves better scene partners than Rebecca and Brynn, who struggle to keep up a rather mild feud.
The episode ends on these two making nice after a season of build-up, which seems like a good allegory for the season. Yes, it’s good to fight and make up, but it just seems so hollow when we barely even saw them fight. What’s been growing as a potential bright spot for the season just ends inconsequentially, as though the women were horrified they ever got to a place of entertainment. It’s so surface level.
No one on this cast wants to be the bad guy. No one wants to come across even a little unsavory. And so we constantly get close to greatness, before everyone backs away in panic of finding themselves in a situation they can’t control.
The next episode looks like it will heat up, as Ubah and Brynn finally go at it for the first time since the Hamptons. But it’s much easier to make an enticing 30-second preview than a solid 43-minute episode or 15-episode season.
The Real Housewives of New York City is far from a lost cause. It’s just one that has cried wolf too many times to approach what’s next with anything but mild apprehension. Here’s hoping the ladies truly are capable of greatness—as the season premiere suggested—and carry the Puerto Rico trip home. But hope is a dangerous thing.
