Here's how Rebecca defended her “You’ll know when you have [kids]” comment to Brynn.
Rebecca Minkoff and Brynn Whitfield’s ongoing drama on The Real Housewives of New York City flared up again during a girls trip to Puerto Rico.
Rebecca, a mother of four, struck a nerve by reminding Brynn that she’s not a mom while they were debating who should have to share a room and who should get their own during Season 15, Episode 11.
“Rebecca said to me, ‘I need my own room. I am stressed,’” Brynn reflected during a Bravo HQ visit, as seen in the video above. “And I was, like, ‘Yeah, I get it. I’m stressed too.'"
Rebecca, however, responded that having four kids made her situation “a little different. You’ll know when you have ’em.”
Brynn, who’s made becoming a mom a priority, seethed at the comment. So what do the women think of the fight today?
Are Rebecca Minkoff and Brynn Whitfield still fighting?
The confrontation arose when the Housewives selected rooms in Puerto Rico, and Rebecca expressed a need to room solo.
“I have four kids, and I shared with Jessel last time [in Anguilla], and I was just looking for, like, a break,” Rebecca said in the episode.
“I have a puppy,” responded Brynn. “We all have very busy lives … It doesn’t matter if you have kids or not.”
But Rebecca told Bravo HQ that it does matter.
“I just said, ‘When you have kids you’ll know.’ It’s, like, one of those things … Until you give birth, you don't know how painful it is," she explained.
Ubah Hassan, seated alongside Rebecca, validated the fashion designer. “Kids are annoying,” Ubah said.
Rebecca then emphasized that she loves her kids, but that they're challenging: “The touching, the needing, and the ‘mom, mom, mom, mom, mom!’”
So, the prospect of three days of solitude was too good to pass up, but she acknowledged her comment “struck a nerve” with Brynn.
Rebecca noted that, at the time, she "was not privy" to all the details surrounding Brynn and the sensitive subject of motherhood.
“I did not know her history,” she told Bravo HQ. “I knew she wanted to be a mom, but a lot of people say that. I didn’t know she was freezing her eggs ... So, when I doubled down on my statement, I really got an explosion. And I was like, ‘Oh, wow.’”
Jessel Taank also defended Rebecca, saying she didn’t think Rebecca made her comment “in an awful way.”
“You really don’t know what life is like unless you have kids. It’s something that you truly cannot predict or experience,” Jessel said.
Erin Lichy, meanwhile, told Bravo HQ that Brynn has been “pushing and pushing” at Rebecca with offhand remarks.
“I would say that it’s not a big deal … to say, like, ‘You don't have kids, you don’t get it.’ But Rebecca was saying it with the intention to, like, dig a little bit. She admitted that," Erin said.
Brynn, for her part, acknowledged she’s had “issues with Rebecca since day one,” but dug into why the mom-related comment really pushed her buttons.
“It was extraordinarily hurtful,” she said. “I know that I don’t have children. I cry. I wake up in the night crying because I don't have children, you know?”
An fan's opinion: "I have mixed feelings. As a woman in my mid 30's with no children, I do find it obnoxious when people say things like "you'll understand when you have kids", not because it's not true, but because it sometimes makes me feel like they're implying that I'm emotionally stunted and couldn't possibly have empathy for the plights of parenthood. It also can feel like they're bragging about an accomplishment (having kids) that I haven't achieved yet. I know it's not intentional, but imagine saying that to someone about any other type of accomplishment. If someone said "You'll understand how hard I work when you get a big promotion like I did", I think that would be considered rude by most. It's like look at what I was able to do that you weren't. So in that regard I really felt for Brynn when Rebecca said that to her. I just think it's not a great idea to say that to any woman when you don't know what they're going through or what their plans are.
However! I think that Brynn's response was also obnoxious. Sure, Rebecca was being insensitive by saying that, but as I said before, it doesn't make it untrue. Brynn doesn't know what it's like to have kids, and while she certainly doesn't need that thrown in her face, Brynn saying "I understand everything!" or whatever she said was so ridiculous. Like girl, obviously you don't. Maybe have a little bit of empathy for an exhausted mom who needs some space. It was like she was expecting Rebecca to empathize with her but refused to empathize with Rebecca in return.
Idk, I don't like either of these women so at the end of the day I don't even really care lol, but having had the experience myself I just had some thoughts."
Where do Rebecca and Brynn go from here? Watch The Real Housewives of New York City, airing Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.
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