They’re all tragic, but here’s a definitive ranking of the worst taglines on RHOBH

Dorit Kemsley and Kyle Richards’ epic fallout is the storyline we’ve all needed this season. They are both for war with their RHOBH season 14 taglines, and we’ve ranked them in order of cheesiness.

“The hills have eyes?!” The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills haven’t held back with their taglines this season. They’re really cringe but either way, we’ll get a lot of juicy drama happening this time.

Dorit Kemsley – 6/10

“I might look like a doll, but don’t wind me up.”

Tragic factor: Kinda loving that Dorit Kemsley pointed out she looks like a doll, which makes this less cringe. However, that indirect threat to this season’s villain, Kyle, is a little trashy. So we’re giving Kemsley a 6/10, which for the most part is because we feel bad she’s no longer with ex PK Kemsley.

Kyle Richards – 9/10

“These hills have eyes and they’re all staring at me.”

Tragic factor: Kyle Richards‘ tagline is MAJOR. It’s giving main character! Ok, so eyes may be on her for the separation from Mauricio Umansky, but she didn’t need to spell it out. When you get paid more than most Housewives and take your over-20-year marriage to Bravo, of course we’re watching.

Sutton Stracke – 8/10

“I honor my fine Southern manners by putting you in your place.”

Tragic factor: Ever the classy queen, Sutton Stracke is always ready for an argument. However, did she really need to bring the whole Southern manners thing into it? We get it, don’t mess with you, Sutton.

Erika Jayne – 5.5/10

“In Beverly Hills, money buys a lot…but my independence? Priceless.”

Tragic factor: Pretty tragic, but we’ve got to give it to Erika. She went through a major divorce, so she has a decent excuse to rinse her public split from millionaire, Tom Girardi, for all its worth. However, there’s overdoing it, and then there’s Erika Jayne-ing it, and it’s safe to say this is fairly cheesy.

Bozoma Saint John – 9/10

“Introducing the greatest product I’ve ever marketed: myself.”

Tragic factor: Majorly tragic and a little cheesy. We’re super proud of Bozoma for her success in life, but perhaps it’s best to allow those achievements to speak for themselves. Okay, so she’s a CEO of her own brand, Eve By Boz, and worked with Pepsi, Netflix, Uber and Apple Music, but it’s still no excuse.

Garcelle Beauvais – 3/10

“I’ve been in the game too long to play by someone else’s rules.”

Tragic factor: Garcelle Beauvais has always been an independent, single queen. Her tagline is the least cringe of RHOBH’s season 14, but that’s usually because she stays away from drama. She’s been on the show since 2020 but has managed to, for years on, remain the least cringy cast member.